


The End of Peace

by Jayxm



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Attempted Sexual Assault, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Harper is the mom friend, Hurt Madi, Hurt/Comfort, I swear there is going to be some legit Memori in this, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Its actually not nearly as dark as the tags really make it seem to be, Kidnapping, Mother-Daughter Relationship, No Echo hate, Psychological Trauma, The 100 (TV) Season 5, There are mentions of Ontari, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Torture, season 5 rewrite
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:07:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23728063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jayxm/pseuds/Jayxm
Summary: When the Eligius ship comes down, Madi gets captured instead of Clarke. Madi's first encounter with people outside of her peaceful valley is nothing like what she expected. Firsthand she'll understand Clarke's fear and protectiveness. Stories of Wanheda Madi couldn't connect to the motherly figure finally become a reality. Nothing is going to stop Clarke from getting her daughter back.Featuring:Memori on the ringBellamy being fatherlyHarper being such a momEmori being like my favorite characterJohn's trauma being addressed
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake & Echo, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake/Echo, Clarke Griffin & Madi, Emori & Harper McIntyre, Emori & John Murphy (The 100), Emori & Madi (The 100), Emori/John Murphy (The 100), John Murphy & Raven Reyes
Comments: 27
Kudos: 117





	1. Check in. Over.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the Gagarin Eligius ship lands, Clarke scrambles to find a way to keep Madi and their newfound home safe, too bad people keep getting in her goddamned way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna be an oof of a story but y'know what- I love writing that hurts to write and to read. Warning in advance this is gonna hurt your heart.

**Clarke**

The morning sun melts the wet dew off the leaves dangling overhead leaving water droplets in the hair of Clarke Griffin. A warm orange morning washes over the valley. She's never felt more at peace - no - at home. The hum of Madi's soft snores in the back of the rover swaddled in furs nearly break her heart. The question of - _do I deserve this -_ has crossed her mind more than once, and still, she'd probably say no. That doesn't stop the warmness in her chest staring at the blissfully snoozing child. The radio clutched tight and the ever lightening sky rising, Clarke smiles and presses the talk button. 

"Bellamy, if you're alive and can hear me - it's been 2,199 days since Praimfaya." She starts staring up at the clouds overhead.

She knows she's rambling, and part of her questions if this is insanity: talking to someone that can never respond. It's a comfortable kind of crazy she's settled on. 

Lost in the mundaneness of the routine, her eyes nearly skim over the white streak developing in the sky. The excitement flows through her as adrenaline injected straight into her chest. 

"Nevermind... I see you." She bounces off the hood of the rover with a giddy smile and shakes Madi awake. Her hand on the soft cheek of the little _natblida_ sends a pang through her heart. They're going to love her, she knows it. 

\----------------------

**Madi**

When the floorboard closes and she's wrapped in a heavy blanket of darkness the fear smacks the air out of her lungs like a suckerpunch. Running on pure adrenaline left her almost... blankly worried. A fear that hadn't quite reached her heart yet. Knowing to be fearful and being afraid are two very different things. Clarke taught her that. Being afraid isn't productive, but it's not something easily controlled. Gun trembling in her hands she curses at herself, trying to bite back the terror that's leaving her fingers so unsteady. Her thoughts run by faster than she can process them and her ears are so finely tuned in to the outside. The crunch of leaves in the wind, but is it wind or footsteps? The whistle between branches, but is it voices? _Stay calm. Stay calm._

She's going to meet _people_ today. She can count on one hand the number of people she's ever met and now clusters of people are flooding into the valley, her home. Clarke doesn't seem to think they're friendly like her friends in space either. The leaves crunch heavily and she cocks the bullet into place muttering prayers in Trig under her breath. Radio static crunches the air and for a moment she wonders- did Clarke leave her radio? Is that Skaikru? The bunker? Quickly paving over the blip of excitement the sharp ring of gruff voices catches her breath in her throat.

" _Wallace. Brigs. Do you read? Any signs in the woods_? Over." The radio chimes with a hard yet distinctly female voice. _Not Clarke._

"Chill Diyoza. It seems to be clear. We're gonna quickly sweep and check in ten from now. Over." A man with a heavy rasping voice chuckles and coughs. 

"Ten from now. Radio if you see anything. Over and out." The radio crackles and a second voice groans.

"I don't like this one-bit man. Lookit, this place. It's got an upkeep. Someone's been taking care of this place." He grumbles and she closes her eyes as the door screeches over the wood floorboards. 

"Look- Briggs. If anyone's here, they could just be afraid of us. Don't get trigger happy on me." Wallace presumably chuckles. "Diyoza wouldn't be too fond of that." She hears the footsteps so close overhead, the echoing thud as his foot hits the carpeting covering the floorboard.

"Diyoza can kiss my ass... Ay. Wallace. Come here for a sec." Her heart sinks into her stomach and her mouth has gone cotton dry as the carpet shuffles away. "I think I've got something." 

She holds up the pistol and squints her eyes tight. Her finger shakes over the trigger. _Fuck!_ She grits her teeth. _I know how to shoot a damned gun why can't I-_ a streak of light cracks through the rapidly widening gap in the floorboards - _fire._

_BANG_

She purses her eyelids tightly together and squeezes the trigger blindly. In a flurry, there's a curse, a shout, and she's being dragged onto the wood surface. 

"Please don't!"She begs and the hand clutched in her hair slams her facefirst in the wood floor before dragging her to the dirt. Black blood trailing behind her. 

"What the _hell_ happened?" Wallace calls with a concerned flash on his face.

"The damned bitch _shot me!"_ He throws her onto the dirt and she scrambles backward as he pulls up a pistol and clutches his side with a wince. 

"She's just a kid Brigs! You can't fucking shoot a kid." Wallace furrows his brow at the trembling girl on the ground.

"The hell I can't." Brigs scowls and his teeth are oddly... filed sharp. He snaps his head back to her with a predatory grin. "Huh? How about I put one in _your_ leg and you can see how it feels?" 

The forest seems to freeze to a halt around her. It's an uncanny silence, unlike the comfortable silence before they'd arrived, as her blood chills and coagulates in her veins. The barrel of the gun squares up between her eyes and she fearfully recognizes, she's never once looked at a gun from this angle. That was Clarke's first lesson in teaching her how to shoot. _Clarke._

_Where's Clarke?_

\----------------------------

**CLARKE**

In the woods, Clarke hears the echo through in the trees. Her boots sink in place for just a moment before swiftly and mindlessly turning on her heel. Vastly under armed, her daughter could already be gone. Throat tied up in knots, she runs faster then her legs can carry her until voices and radio static echo back at her.

" _I heard a shot. Any signs?"_ The tinfoil racket of a walkie-talkie rings out.

"I've got one running the ridge here! Are we still playing friendly? over" She hears but doesn't stop, only briefly letting her head turn back to the dusty blonde. His gun is down. Good.

" _Brigs? Wallace?_ " The radio crackles and then there's silence. She hears footsteps begin the thud and crunch loudly behind her.

" _Check-in_!" There's only a second pause before the radio crackles again. " _Dame s_ _hoot to disarm or disable only. Bring her back to me alive. over."_

 _"Stop!_ Just fucking stop and we can talk!" He yells but she hears the bullet already cock into place. She _has_ to find Madi. "Don't make me shoot you!" 

_ThUnk_

She hears the bullet bury itself in the tree trunk just behind her. Frantically she winces and holds her hands up, waving them wildly. Fear sinks in her stomach. She just needs a few seconds... to sort through more information. To track their movements. To figure out what the _hell_ is going on with her daughter right now. This must be Wanheda's worst damned plan so far.

" _hod op! Beja nou bash op ai!_ " _Wait. Please don't hurt me._ The shot doesn't come and the man approaches at a light jog pulling up his radio. _Perfect._

 _"_ Uh. Diyoza _?_ " He calls into the radio. "She's seemingly non-hostile. Speaking another language though. I don't think she can understand me. over" 

_"Crap. If she's cooperating bring her in. Non-violently for now. Crag, reinforce his position just in case. Brigs? Wallace? Check the HELL in. over."_ He tucks the walkie into his belt and pulls her to her feet.

"I'm not gonna hurt you- _if_ you cooperate." His voice is low and hard but she can feel a shake in his voice. Caution. 

" _This is Wallace. We've got a girl in the woods. Fucking shot Brigs. He's alright though. over."_ The radio crackles and Clarke's eyes dart down. 

_"You didn't kill her did you Brigs? over"_ Diyoza lets out a stifled chuckle and Clarke's blood begins to boil over the brim.

 _"No."_ Wallace presumably calls through. _"He's fuckin' bout to though. over."_

 _"Brigs. Stand down. She's worth more alive."_ The radio goes silent as the man looks Clarke over before taking the pistol from her belt slowly. _"Does she happen to speak English? over"_

 _"Uh. Think so? over"_ Clarke grits her teeth and let the blade slide out from her sleeve.

" _Hm. Bring her back to camp. I'm sure we can use her to make sure Dame's hostage is a bit more... honest... with us. Over and out."_ The voice rings and Clarke lets the handle rest tightly in her palm. 

The man, Dame, begins pulling the rifle strap off her shoulder hesitantly. Not hesitantly enough- as in a flash the blade buries itself down to the hilt in the side of his neck, leaving only time for a gargled choke before his body feebly crumples into the mess of ferns. Snagging the walkie-talkie, her guns, and pulling off his beige jacket she runs at the sound of loud hammering footsteps - inexperienced ones. Turning the volume down on the walkie-talkie she lets her feet carry her across the ridge. There's no way back up will catch up with her - these woods were made for her feet. 

\------------

**MADI**

The radio crinkles _over_ before the unsteady silence settles. _Over_. It's such an innocuous phrase yet it burns itself in the forefront of her mind. _Over._ It presses itself forcefully down on her shoulders, weighing her into the dirt: Her childhood - o _ver; p_ eace in the valley- o _ver;_ feeling safe - o _ver._

Brigs scoffs and clips the walkie-talkie back onto his belt-loop with a click. Wallace shakes his head and takes a step forward with a hand up in a nearly defensive manner.

The orange morning light blossoms into rays of gold and blinding white, yet the warmth doesn't follow it. She glances between the two men, a tense, cold, bitterness between them as they lock eyes.

"Brigs man- don't" Wallace's face scrunches up as Brigs casually pulls out a knife and crouches down in front of her.

"You're lucky I can't kill you kiddo..." His voice rasps as he places the tip against her thigh, her eyes widening. "But Diyoza won't object if you come in with a few scratches, will she?" 

"Brigs... don't-" Wallace warns but his hand pulls up and plunges deep into the flesh with an echoing cry escaping her lips. "You could hit an artery you bumbling idiot!" He shouts but Brigs scoffs.

"She'll be fine. I'll leave the blade in. It just happened in the chaos. Didn't it Wallace?" He smirks and the man shakes his head, jaw set tightly as he lifts whimpering Madi to her feet- foot. Wallace nods curtly and cautiously moves to supports her weight.

"Don't give us any problems and we won't hurt you." He whispers and a choked-up exhale of a laugh leaves her lips quietly. "Just... cooperate. Please?" He grits his teeth and she nods, allowing him to carry her with pursed lips and a blank stare. 

Determined to not let the pain escape her, not to let them see her weakness, she bites it down. She'd cracked her head on rocks, been slashed at by the desert glass, felt the heat of Praimfaya: she could bear it. Footsteps tear through the woods, thick heavy ones that repeated in quick succession, and a spark lights in her chest. Brigs and Wallace turned their heads quickly and breaking the treeline the light was quickly staunched. Another prisoner with a pistol cocked and loaded trips into the clearing with a cough as he regains his breath. 

"Killian!" Wallace exhales with a laugh. "You scared the crap outta me!" 

"Eh sorry 'bout that. D'oza sent me over. Said ya moight need some 'elp?" He coughs as his lungs crack and pop like bubble wrap in the hands of a toddler. 

"Yeah yeah Kil. Thanks. If you just want to watch my back that'll help, gotta carry the kid- she uh..." He swallows and looks away from Brigs' heavy gaze. "-got hurt in the mess of things." 

Madi's teeth creak against the pressure as she sets her jaw tightly, her eyes winced and brow crunches and furrowed in a feeble attempt to keep a cry from leaving her lips as they walk. Walking through the treeline and breaking into a clearing, the roar of engines hurt her ears and the reflective surface of the Gagarin's shell leave her dazed. Men gathered with guns hooked on each hip and a woman with metal-plated armor gather around. Madi winces as Wallace tosses her to the ground like a sack of potatoes, clutching her thigh at the heavy impact with a gasp that sharpens loudly.

The woman swaggers forward and tilts her head before gesturing up to Brigs with a subtle eyebrow raise. Her expression nearly blank conveys an aura of hostility that leaves Wallace avoiding her gaze. 

"What's with the knife?" She motions down towards Madi who's eyes skim back and forth among them like a cornered animal. 

Brigs shrugs with the corners of his mouth tugging upward involuntarily. He flips the safety of his gun on and off before glancing up at the woman nonchalantly. "She was giving me a hard time- speaking of, she grazed my shoulder." 

"Well too bad we don't have a doctor for you." She huffs and shoots a glare to a man lingering behind, hair pushed up messily. "Right McCreary?"

McCreary smiles and lets his tongue run across his top teeth. "Really is too bad Diyoza..." 

The woman, Diyoza, walks over and crouches beside Madi before casually cocking her head up. "Where's Dame and Crag?" She scoffs lightly as a few confused glances and shrugs create a silent chorus of responses.

She raises her eyebrows at Madi who's brow is furrowed tightly, rigid, unlike the lax armored woman. "If you answer all my questions, you and that person off in the woods will be safe. Got it?" 

Madi just lets her gaze dart between Diyoza's eyes and up to the grumbling audience surrounding them. Diyoza lets a light smile creep to her thin cracked lips.

"What kid? Never been stabbed and kept prisoner?" She chuckles and her eyebrows lift in feigned shock. "Real lucky for you then. Isn't it?"

\---------------

**CLARKE**

Buried in the bushes at the forest's border, she curses and watches the group surrounding Madi. Her bones tell her to rush forward, to run into the fray and surrender to be with Madi, but she knows that won't work. With no one there to rescue them, she needs to plan... to think this over thoroughly. Rubbing her temples and biting incessantly at the inside of her cheek she lets out a heavy breath of restraint and watches. 

She misses the innocence and domesticity of the hut in the woods already; she misses berry-picking and hair dying; she misses the hopeful innocence in Madi's greyish teal eyes; she misses the quiet slow rise of the morning and she misses the calm safety of the trees.

She can feel it in her gut, their safety, their peace, is over. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHH. I'm writing this while patiently hoping for a trailer we have not yet received... sad hours. Time to write to cope.


	2. Breathing Won't Release The Pressure In My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madi is shock-collared, afraid, and tortured for information. Clarke starts working on a plan, only to be swiftly interrupted. Reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I am so sleep deprived. I hope this isn't literal jibberish, I did attempt to edit but I'm so tired and wanted to get this chapter out.

**MADI**

It wasn't long before they had pushed their way into the village, their messy and chaotic criminal lackeys devastating the place as they did. A medley of shouts and music- if you could even call it that- ripping through the air as they broke down doors, carved names into shingles, and threw their items into piles. Moving day. 

Shackles jangle around her wrists and ankles as they guide her into the now collapsing church building. The village bustles with a grating _loudness_ that hasn't once grazed the softness of Shallow Valley. As they throw her facefirst onto the wooden floor and she sputters out tar colored blood as it drips down the back of her throat. Her tongue is coated in ink and her teeth are stained as it drips down her lip. 

" _jok" Fuck._ She coughs a glob of blood onto the floor and she heaves heavy, frantic breaths. 

The footsteps in the room ring through her ears. _Loud._ Everything pings back in an overwhelming ensemble that leaves an acidic ring in her head. Groaning she lets her temple rest against the wood as her dark braids fall around her face. The footstep halt just beyond the curtain shade of her hair. 

"Kid. Still breathing under there?" The hardened voice of Diyoza chimes humorously out of sight. Madi clears her throat and her face wrinkles tightly in pain, hidden from the prying eyes of her captor. 

"I'll take that as a yes. Say, kid- how about we start off _easy."_ Her voice becomes a sarcastic huff as she crouches down. "What's your name?" 

Madi swallows hard and Diyoza cracks an amused grin beyond her sight.

"Kid- I know you speak English. Remember- you cooperate, you and your friends stay safe." She exhales and taps her boot beside Madi's head. "Don't make this harder then it has to be." 

Diyoza stands up and for a second, and Madi sighs in relief, only to be rudely interrupted as a steel toe jams itself into her ribs with a crack. She groans into the floor with a shuddering exhale before regaining her breath and gritting her teeth. 

"What's your name? Damn kid, the world's not gonna end if you tell me your name." She chuckles and tilts her head. "I mean. Who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Kid... I just want to know your name, who's in the woods, and what happened to the damned world." 

She crouches back down and Madi falters, her mouth opening and then pursing back shut. 

"Kid if you don't talk? There are much worse things down the barrel. McCreary isn't as nice as me. If you don't give me what I need..." She shrugs in a casual manner that carries an unspoken hostility with it. "You'll have to deal with much worse than a kick in the side." 

Madi chews on the inside of her lip in persistent silence as something metal links together.

"I'm not one to hurt kids but you aren't giving me much of a choice here girlie." Diyoza snaps as she pulls Madi's hair, raising her head and snapping a metal collar around her throat before slamming her back to the ground.

She sighs in a distant sadness before deadpanning: "What's your name?"

Madi's brow tightens and creases with sweat before the burning _SNAP_ of electricity leaves her trembling and drooling black. She cuts off the cry that just barely pulses past her lips with a choke. 

" _Please_ ," Madi whispers and tries to stop her hands from trembling. She instantly regrets the word as it streams out almost unconsciously. 

"Just tell me your name kid." Diyoza shakes her head sadly and cocks an eyebrow up patiently. After a few seconds and a slackening of Madi's taut shoulders, she whispers it.

" _Madi_..." She despises how her voice trembles with the warble of suppressed tears. 

Diyoza cracks a wide grin and turns Madi's face to hers. Her face is damp with sweat and black in patches of blood that drips from her mouth. With a cocky eyebrow raise, she grabs Madi by the chin to look her in the eyes.

"Good. Madi. If you keep cooperating I won't have to use this anymore." She waves a metal remote around and bites her tongue as Madi averts her gaze back to the floor.

"How about your friends in the woods. How many are there?" She waits for a moment before shaking her head, disappointed. "Come on Madi." 

Madi hates how her name rolls off her tongue. The condescending tone and the rumble of hostility burning a hole in her head. She catches her weight on her palms as Diyoza drops her head, only to quickly fall as the pulse of electricity rips through her like a tidal wave. 

"How many are in the woods?" Diyoza waits and then shakes her head with an eye-roll before pulling the trigger again.

"Come on Madi. You're really gonna put your foot down here?" She releases the trigger and Madi heaves into the familiar gaps in the floorboards. "It's just a number."

"One? Two? Ten? Fifty? A hundred? Come on _Madi."_ She hisses and pulls the trigger as Madi violently seizes on the ground, all of her muscles clenching and tearing as her brain buzzes. 

Abruptly she stands and clicks her teeth together. Her head shakes slowly as she towers over Madi's body as she curls up into herself. The echoing tap of her steel toe boots on the ground sends chills up her spine.

"And to think we could have been good friends Madi. Trust me. McCreary won't be as nice as me." She turns on her heel and the door slams shut behind her. 

Madi fights the wail that threatens to escape her throat and rests her head back onto the floor with an exhausted thud. She settles for heavy exhales as she attempts futilely to let out the heavy stress weighing down her heart. The crushing pressure doesn't release as she hyperventilates and lets out silent cries, seeking relief that doesn't come. 

* * *

**CLARKE**

The quiet of the woods carries a heavier weight around her now. Fear, anxiety, and an inescapable feeling of being followed linger in the once peaceful quiet. The slowness of the valley has been accelerated and the day seems to sweep by as red dawn settles into a starless cold night. She sketches every weapon, counts every guard, watches shift changes. She hasn't seen Madi and frustrated tries to sketch a map of the inside of the village hoping to infer where they might be keeping her. For all she knows, they kept her on the Gagarin ship and planning here is pointless.

Clarke hurls the sketchbook onto the ground with a soft cry and drops her head in her hands. She swallows and breathes rapidly before quietly counting guards and weapons in her head like sheep. _1... 2... 3..._ She breathes as blinding light streak past her clamped-shut eyes. She grabs the book and curses, jumping to her feet before halting. The blinding orange and white light, the echoing _roar_ , is absent from the village they've made camp in. Her head snaps to the Gagarin ship in the clearing a few hundred feet away. Dark. 

Turning on her heel a small compact dropship and blinding rockets slowly settle behind the tree-line. Her breath catches in her throat and the camp begins to clamber about. Thoughtlessly she begins rapidly jogging to the dropship. With nearly silent footsteps she glides over rocks and roots in the dirt. 

Her heels grind to a halt and she tucks herself behind a boulder formation as the heavy cluster of Gagarin men run by and break the clearing guns raised. Glancing through the boulders and wincing under the faint moonlight, a cluster of figures walk up the rolling hill. She hears the quiet conversation and the men from the woods lift their guns with a click. _What... isn't this their crew?_

"Everybody! On your knees!" They shout and she hears bullets pop into place. 

"It's okay! It's okay! We don't want to fight!" Clarke's breathing catches in her throat. _Bellamy?_ "Wait we just want to talk!" 

"Colonel. We have five more hostiles. At least one is armed." A walkie talkie crackles and her heart sinks 

" _One of ours is dead. An eye for an eye. Execute one of theirs and bring the rest in. Maybe we'll get more information out of them."_ The radio crackles and the man cackles.

"Einie Meenie mienie moe? Or anyone wants to volunteer?" He brings the gun up to his shoulder.

_BANG_

The gunshot echoes and reverberates past the trees. Stillness follows before the Gagarin man crumples into the dew-wet grass, the back of his head blown out. Two more men raise their guns but bullets in quick succession from deep in the cloak of the woods leave them blind as the bodies drop limply. 

Clarke heaves heavy breaths from beyond the tree-line, still engulfed in shadow. Their faces are obscured in the silhouette of the moon and her breath has been sucked out by the vacuum of space. She clutches the gun tightly and feels tears well up in her eyes. Five figures step forward cautiously and her heart flutters. Her voice rasps in a soft hopeful whisper as the fear of disappointment hangs overhead. 

" _Bellamy_?" 

"Clarke?"

* * *

**_Earlier_**

_Raven presses the key with a final click and a wide grin._ _"Boom and the crowd goes wild."_

_Murphy's eyes fluttering about the bridge's technology settle on the chestnut-haired girl as she raises her eyebrows in victory. Bellamy glances up at the screen with the words Hydrazine Storage letting hope flutter in his gut._

_"We have a way down..." She smirks and turns her eyes towards Monty for a mutual celebration only to find him gawking at a small switch._

_"That's not all we have..." The switch pulses at the activation and the Lazer-com sputters on._

> _"McCreary, don't make me regret this."_
> 
> _"Isn't that the whole point though Colonel? You need ME to do something YOU'D regret?"_
> 
> _"Shut the hell up McCreary and do your job."_
> 
> _"No, no I get it. You need me to play good cop bad cop. Where I'm the bad cop."_
> 
> _"Have you met yourself?"_
> 
> _"Oh I know. I'm just saying have you met YOURSELF? Diyoza you're the big guns here... I mean... unless you aren't and want to hand control over to me..."_
> 
> _"Hell McCreary. I just need you to do your job and get some information out of this damned little girl-"_
> 
> _"Oh is that it?"_
> 
> _"Is what IT?"_
> 
> _"That it's a little girl? Are your maternal instincts kicking in-"_
> 
> _"McCreary. Just do your damned job."_
> 
> _"Sure thing..."_
> 
> _"Her name's Madi. Still no info on whoever else is in the woods."_
> 
> _"You asked her NAME?"_
> 
> _"Yeah?"_
> 
> _"That like naming a pig before slaughter Diyoza."_
> 
> _"Well we aren't SLAUGHTERING her McCreary. Did you not hear me when I told you not to make me regret this?"_
> 
> _"Fine."_
> 
> _"Fine! Be at the church in ten!"_

_The group winces at the Lazer-com confusedly. Bellamy's brow is furrowed tightly and his mouth is slightly agape. Raven's eyes drift through the floor, falling deep into thought and Murphy simply cocks his head to the side._

_"Little girl?" Murphy almost scoffs before glancing back at Bellamy who winces at the dash._

_"From the bunker..." Raven whispers. "They're torturing our people."_

_"Person." Murphy corrects with a shrug. Raven shoots him a glare._

_"In that case, Octavia can take care of them. They'll be fine." Echo nods to Bellamy reassuringly._

_Raven lets her hand dance across the keyboard and her eyes flit from screen to screen with intent. Murphy cocks an eyebrow up as she pauses and scans through documents._

_"What are you doing?" He gestures to the screen and she snaps her head back to him with intensity creasing her forehead._

_"Finding out who we're dealing with." She turns her attention back to the screen with a sigh._

_Bellamy who stands nearly frozen in the back of the room whispers softly under his breath in shock. "They've got a little girl." Their eyes shoot up to him as if to say 'no shit' before he shakes his head and continues. "We've got to get down there..."_

* * *

**Clarke and Co**

Her eyes well-up before she can help herself as his face slackens with shock. Emori gasps and the group falls almost eerily silent as she steps past the brush. She shakes her head and a tearful laugh breaks past her lips.

"I knew you'd come... I just can't believe you're actually here." She whispers and inhales shaking her head sadly. "We... we can do this later. We have to get out of here. They'll be here soon." 

The group begins to step forward past Bellamy who stands frozen in shock. "You're... alive."

She looks down and scoffs. "You really thought a nuclear apocalypse could kill me?" Her voice quiets. "I guess you didn't get my calls then." 

"Calls?" Bellamy chokes out and tears rim his eyes.

"Radio calls. I figured it wouldn't work but I hoped..." She shakes her head again, more violently. "Bellamy. We have to move." 

His head nods almost microscopically and he can't tear his eyes away from her as she scans the woods and leads the way. The deep cherry red streaks in her hair and the heavy jacket with leather and pads of armor and fur call out to him. Every detail, every change sticks out from the immortalized image he has of her. The ponytail and soft features, the green suit, red eyes.

* * *

_"Nothing is happening to you!" He insists, shaking his head._

_"Please Bellamy I need you to listen to this." Her eyes are so tired and her fear is so evident. He wants to reach out and hold her. To tell her he won't let anything happen to her._

_"We've been through a lot together you and I..." Her eyes trail down as if she's soaking up all of him for the last time. They trace his shoulders, the locks of his hair, his calloused hands, with a softness he longs for._

_"I didn't like you at first, that's no secret... but even then every stupid thing you did, it was to protect your sister. She didn't always see that. But I did." She inches closer to him and he feels his heart race even as it seems to plummet in fear._

_"You have such a big heart, Bellamy. People follow you, you inspire them, because of this." Her hand touches his chest and he grits his teeth._

_"The only way to make sure we survive is if you use this too." Her hand touches the side of his face and his heart feels like it's imploding. He leans in closer to her with pleading eyes._

_"I've got you for that."_

* * *

The burning pain in his heart longs to touch her. He wants to run his hand through her hair, touch her cheek, her hand, to reaffirm that she's _really_ there. He wants to feel her breath on his neck as he hugs her to be sure she's here in front of him, _breathing._ His eyes are wide like a deer in headlights until a hand slips into his. 

Echo sighs beside him, and her thumb rubs the inside of his wrist comfortingly. She glances up to his shoulder but can't quite seem to meet his eye. His brow furrows and glances down at her before his eyes trail to the rest of the group ahead with a swallow.

Harper looks to Monty with a soft smile and a nod before moving to Emori, who's jaw is slackened and seems to stare at Clarke with something between awe and guilt. With her arm pressed to Emori's side, she turns to Harper with a low chuckle of disbelief and sorrow. 

"I just- she's alive." Emori deadpans and her eyes drift towards the ground. "I thought she died for us and she's here." 

Harper smiles before Emori's shoulders shake with a tearful cry. "She died- we... thought she died for all of us, and I almost just killed us all." 

"Woah Woah. Emori. You got us back the ground. You did _good_." Harper soothes and puts a hand on the bitterly laughing girl's shoulder. 

"But I didn't." She whispers and her bottom lip quivers. Harper tilts her head and her features soften. "I left John and Raven..." She shakes her head. "I know- I know Raven had to stay but... John... I- I... he stayed because I..." 

Harper shakes her head and wraps an arm around Emori comfortingly. "Don't put that on yourself Emori... he made his choice. He'll be fine. If anything happens he'll come down." 

Emori laughs and wipes a tear forming in the corner of her eye. "What if we left more people behind to die Harper... what if I left John behind to die when he didn't have to-" 

"Emori. He's not dying... and him staying is not your fault." She smiles softly. "I know its a bit shocking with Clarke here after she stayed behind to save us, but what Murphy- John- did isn't the same thing. Don't scare yourself. He's okay." 

Emori nods softly and Harper lets her smile crack into a goofy grin, "Although you might want to consider apologizing once he does come back down." Emori scoffs and nods at Harper with a hesitant grin.

"Thanks, Harper." She nods.

"Hey, we're here," Clarke whispers back to the group as she pushes aside a collection of thick vines that cover a small cave space not too far from the waterfall and the lake. 

Rushing inside she starts to light a burned-out fire pit in the center. The group waits as the warm orange glow lights up the cavern, exposing the collections of furs on the floor and graphite drawing's covering the stone walls. Bellamy's eyes graze over images of his face, Lexa's, Octavia's, Lincoln's, Finn's, Raven's, Murphy's, Emori's, collections of their friends dead and alive. 

"You drew these?" Harper gawks in awe, her index finger faintly smudging her own face on the wall. Clarke nods modestly. "They're beautiful." 

"I had a lot of time." She whispers and watches over the group as they soak in Clarke's life. She can tell they're still adjusting, still lingering in disbelief.

Bellamy's hand skims a drawing of Madi and his brow furrows as he cocks his head.

"Who is this?" He turns his head towards Clarke who walks over with tearful eyes yet a proud smile.

"That's Madi." His blood runs cold and Monty's head turns.

"Madi?" Monty's voice is hard.

"Yeah, you guys haven't met her... I found her after Praimfaya, I've raised her like my daughter ever since. She's twelve." Clarke inhales and her shoulder's tremble as she bites her lip.

The group remains deadly silent and the tension creates a lingering aura of stress in the air. Harper's face contorts and her hand moves to her mouth, Emori's eyes widen, and Echo stiffens in place. Bellamy's shoulders square up and Clarke can see the muscles go taut in his neck. 

"Your... _daughter?"_ His voice breaks and she moves to sit down on the rocks.

"Yeah... I..." She swallows down tears. "They took her and... I don't know where... if she's okay..." 

They each pass worried glances back and forth as Harper rushes to Clarke's side, putting a hand on her back to rub comforting circles. Monty crouches down across from her and his eyes dart between her and the floor as he tries to piece together the slipping words.

"On the Eligius ship... we... they had a Lazer-com and we heard some of their conversations." He stammers and Echo shakes her head stiffly.

"They... they said they were torturing... a little girl...Madi and..." His voice falters and Echo steps forward as Clarke's brow tightens.

"Someone named Diyoza and another one named McCreary. Something about having him get the information out of her instead of Diyoza." She locks eyes with Clarke. "She said to be at the church. My guess?" She tilts her head down. "That's where they're keeping her." 

Clarke nods curtly, wiping the tears away. "I've been tracking their movements and their weaponry. I've lived in that village for six years... I know it like the back of my hand." She chuckles. "I had been working out a plan right before you guys landed." 

Bellamy nods, distantly taking in all of the room, all of Clarke, and now the little pieces of her daughter. He finds himself staring at the portrait of the young girl with dark braids and a sweet innocent smile and he can't help but find her strikingly familiar.

"We plan tonight. Tomorrow night we'll get her out of there." Echo quips and settles in front of the fireplace. Clarke briefly opens her mouth as if to protest before clamping it back shut.

"It's... so good to see you guys again." She whispers and lets herself examine each one of them. "Murphy and Raven?" She chokes but they vigorously shake their heads.

Emori smiles at her reassuringly. "No no no, we... actually started working something out. They're still in space. We got on their ship to get fuel to get down here." She looks to Bellamy who nods swiftly back. "They have a sleeping army." 

"Cryosleep." Monty butts in briefly to explain before Emori continues.

"Raven had to stay up there so we can work out a deal with Eligius. We kill their people or..." Clarke's eyes widen in shock. 

"or they give my daughter back." Clarke breaks into a wide smile. "Why can't we do that now?" 

"Well, Raven's going to need some more time to set up some firewalls so they can't get through the mainframe remotely." He notes and Clarke nods reluctantly.

Bellamy turns away from his trance in the wall art, his face contorting in confusion. "Wait a second. Where's my sister?" It's not the question he means to ask but Clarke reads between the lines.

"They're all still in the bunker." She apologetically whispers. "The rubble collapsed on top of it, I tried to dig but almost got crushed a few times." 

Monty turns to Bellamy with a dumbstruck look. "Eligius is a mining ship." He stammers. "We can include that in the deal. They give back Madi, dig out the bunker, and then we have peace." 

Bellamy nods but his eyes drift back to the floor as he mulls it over. Echo swiftly walks over to his side and places her hand on the back of his arm.

 _"I'm sure they're fine,"_ she whispers into his ear and he really does wish he believed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you're enjoying it! I love protective mom Clarke but didn't like her betraying her friends to show it, so here's Madi ACTUALLY getting really hurt. Man, I hate myself. This hurted tho.


	3. Warning Signs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> McCreary takes things into his own hands and Clarke snaps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think with quarantine and my sheer boredom I'm going to keep posting new chapters of this until I'm either done or get super busy. So no promises but very possibly new chapter tomorrow as well.

**Madi**

She lets herself cry. With the barrenness of the empty room, she finally falls into it. Chains rattle softly and sweat, tears, and blood dampen the cold, once familiar floor. No one is there to watch her or to judge her weakness. 

She hates crying, she was never good at it. She’d cried the day Praimfaya killed her mother, but at the same moment, she had finally been freed of her shackles. She’d cried after Bellamy and Skaikru hadn’t shown up at the five-year mark, mostly because of her surrogate mother’s devastation. She’d cried when the sandstorm hit them in the middle of the journey to Polis when the glass ripped her flesh open, but even worse: when Clarke took off her coverings to wrap around her. When she'd wrapped her arms around her and taken the storm. She had tried to hide how much it hurt her as the glass cut lines across her skin, but Madi saw, and she’d never felt more afraid. Madi couldn’t lose another mother. Yet here she was, questioning forlornly if Clarke could lose a daughter. 

It’s a vile thought that rises in her throat like bile. She can’t give up Clarke. Clarke has the advantage right now, they don’t know what’s out there but if they find out it’s just her, just one? Madi sobs through dry cracked lips pushing the thought down. Letting herself break now, she promises herself she won’t break later. 

The echo of footsteps yank the cry from her throat and she swallows down the tears with a croak. The church doors fly open with a slam as McCreary, a messy-haired man with a cocky smile and a glint in his eyes, kicks it inward. 

“Sorry, _Madi._ I was never one for knocking.” He smirks and the sarcasm bleeds through his teeth.

She's not expecting it when the wave of electricity knocks her back down to the floor from her feeble attempt at leaning on her forearm. Her eyes roll back into her head as she chokes and shakes.

"I should've let you know..." He chuckles low and rough before releasing the trigger. "I'm not one for warnings either."

"You know how it is, _Madi."_ He drawls out her name long and deep, with a lingering sense of dread hanging over her. She decides she hates the way he says it more. "I can't have your people ambushing mine." He crouches down at her feet and pulls out a hunting knife. "So, I need to know how many people are out there." 

She knows there's fear in her eyes as she tries to hold a steady face, unable to help the crease above the bridge of her nose as she stares stiffly. He breaks into a predatory grin and his laughter rumbles in her chest. She tries to swallow down the fear. She tries to be brave.

His hand presses down on her calf, pinning it to the floor, before raking the jagged blade across as she cries out in pain.

"I'm not going to ask you twice." He gruffly spits but his eyes glimmer. The recognition hits her and she fights the vomit from rising. _He's enjoying this._

The blade rips across again, a few inches higher and he starts to cut away the fabric, exposing the oozing ripped flesh and the rest of her calf. She can't help the echo of a sob that leaves her lips and he locks eyes with her for just a moment before slicing again... and again... and again. He cuts all the way up to her knee and cuts away more fabric. Thick heaviness pools in her stomach as he pauses, his hand relocating from her disfigured lower leg to her thigh. The bile rises higher and she gulps it down with the fear.

He looks up at her with an expectant look and waits before chuckling at her terror and disgust. The blade buries itself back in the wood beside her and relief floods through her veins as she exhales. Shaking his head he stands and walks off behind her. Releasing the breath she feels she's been holding, the room seems to let go of some of the pressure as the glances at the rows of wounds on her leg. 

She fights a chuckle as a radio crackle fills the room. _Damn._ She breathes. _They're just gonna keep passing me around until I crack, aren't they?_ McCreary walks back around her with the walkie-talkie in hand and a hard smugness that sends her own into shards. 

"You see this walkie-talkie here?" He holds it up and she lets her eyes wander to it as mute confirmation. "Bourne's had an eye on you since you arrived at camp. I make one call, and he has permission to come in here and have his way with you." He fights at a cocky grin as her heart sinks. "Do you understand what I'm saying?" 

Madi's resolve is fading fast, her leg is inky black with blood and she trembles uncontrollably before gritting her teeth tightly together. Shakily she lets the words out in broken exhales.

" _I- thought..."_ Even her lungs seem to shake the words. " _you... weren't... one... for... warnings."_

Her gaze hardens and she tries to maintain the facade of strength. Clarke was always strong in the face of danger. She tries to channel Clarke as she bore the glass in the sandstorm. Even as terror and pain shake every inch of her body she tries to grasp the confidence as it fumbles in her hands. 

McCreary pulls up the radio and squeezes the button on the side faster than she expects him to and the air strangles itself in her throat.

" _Bour-"_

"WAIT!" She yells. _I'm not Clarke. I'm not Clarke._ The words painfully cycle in her head. Madi is not that strong. The guilt weighs on her chest as she reluctantly whispers. " _One_." 

McCreary's eyebrow cocks upward. "One?"

"Yes... one. There's one other person in the woods..." The tears stream down her cheeks leaving red patchiness in its wake. 

"How heavily are they armed. Who are they to you." He asks but they're more statements than questions. There's a stiffness lingering behind it... Regret?

"She's not heavily armed. She's... a friend." She whispers the lie through her teeth and hopes he doesn't question it further, hopes he trusts her fear enough to take it at face value.

McCreary leans back comfortably on his hands and sits in silence. There's a patience to it, something that didn't seem very McCreary like at all, especially after... before. Slowly he pulls out a flask and takes a long sip. Madi's heart races in comparison to the slow lull, waiting for something, anything. He slowly works his way to his feet and holds the flask out towards her.

"My treat- For answering." His voice grates her ears and she tilts her head confusedly. The smell is biting and pungent. Alcohol. Strong alcohol.

Shrugging at her disinterest he pulls back the flask and takes another short swig. Taking a step back and crouching down he nods slowly. Tilting the flask to the side the clear liquid runs over the gashes on her leg, seeping inside, fizzing and hissing. The bloodcurdling scream that tears through the church and through the village leaves her throat raw and dry as she gasps trying to catch her breath.

"Our last doctor taught me that-" He shakes the remnants in the flask. "Is a really bad idea." Her eyes go wide in terror as her puffy red eyes well up.

"Something about with large wounds and high alcohol percentage." Shrugging he takes another sip of the remnants. "Moonshine. 75%. Something about killing and dehydrating it." Nonchalantly he blows in her face as she flinches away from it. "So it won't heal right." 

She shakes her head violently and the tears choke her. "I- I told you what you wanted." It's practically a beg but her shame is already peaking. 

He licks across his teeth and stands with a satisfied sigh. " _Madi. Madi. Madi."_ he patronizes.

"We found five of your friends in the woods last night." 

The words slap her across the face.

"What? Nonono I don't know who those people are! It's just us two!" Frantically the words spill out and he shakes his head. "Please don't! PLEASE!"

McCreary pulls up the walkie talkie with a grin. 

"Bourne. I'm done with her." 

* * *

**CLARKE and Co**

There's a distance between Clarke and Bellamy as they sit at the mouth of the cave for watch. The dark familiarity of the valley forest holds a heaviness in it. The illusion of peace is broken. She recalls the times Madi and she had sat at the mouth of this cave with excitement for a hunt or for the dull comfort of training. Even now she can feel the _homeness_ of the valley fading. The valley is no longer theirs. 

Bellamy's eyes drift to Clarke as she sorrowfully gazes into the emptiness. The softness of her has faded, leaving a hard exterior. Gazing into the cave of drawings, seeing the warmness, seeing her love for Madi, there's a missing piece of comfort he longs to be a part of. The gentleness of the little outcropping leaves him somber at the clear absence. This was a place made for two with one half missing. 

"Clarke..." He whispers and her eyes are wet as she avoids his gaze. "I'm so sorry." Her face hardens.

"What are you sorry about?" He shoves his hands deep in his pockets and his head sags. "Bellamy, do not apologize to me for-" 

"I left you here alone to die Clarke." His voice shakes and he turns to her. His facial hair is grown in patchy and he looks so much _older._ There's a tired slackness in his face she can't shake.

"But I wasn't alone and I _didn't_ die." She whispers and angles herself to look up at him reassuringly. "I had Madi."

"I should've waited..." 

"Bellamy I was miles away by the time you launched. There would've been no point." She raises her hand to the scruff on the side of his face. "I'm proud of you. You keep them safe. You kept them _alive._ "

She pushes away the chill of night and the maternal worry in her heart. 

"Bellamy I wouldn't change what happened for the world." She shakes her head. "Because then I wouldn't have met Madi." Wet eyes trembling Bellamy looks up to meet her eyes.

"We'll get her back Clarke. I promise." He leans forward and frowns.

The walkie talkie at her hip crackles softly and rasps something brief and indistinguishable. They exchange glances and Clarke's heart flutters before frantically grabbing it and cranking up the volume. There's a long silence as they wait with shuddering anticipation. After thirty seconds neither speaks, waiting. When it crackles on again she hears the loud, pleading cry and a confident voice rings that sends rage through her veins. She can feel the smile in his voice, the satisfaction.

" _-ease! Don't! PLEASE!"_

_"Bourne. I'm done with her."_

Clarke's mouth falls open and they mull the words over together. They roll over in her head and her breathing picks up as she stands abruptly. The tears boil over as the anguish overwhelms her.

"We have to get her out of there." She shakes with rage. Bellamy nods and presses his tongue tightly to the roof of his mouth. 

"Raven should-" She cuts him off.

"Bellamy now. I need to go." Her hands tremble and a deep-seated fury stiffens behind her glassy eyes. 

The look in her eyes is strikingly familiar. The rage. The intensity. Protecting Octavia, shooting Jaha, everything he did, he did with that fervent look in his eyes. He can feel the fire burning inside her and the chill of night disappears. He really does try to say no. He really does try to stop her, but he knows that look well enough to know she won't. Letting his eyes drift back to the warm firelight flickering against the confident smiling girl with braids, he shakes his head no instinctively, but the words out of his mouth contradict him.

"I know _."_ The word bite and regrettably, he finds the same vehement ferocity boiling in his heart.

"Raven might be done by now. She said to give her until the next day because we can't radio to confirm." Clarke nods in response. Bellamy shakes his head. "If the firewalls aren't up..." He drones off before she snaps into action.

"Then we don't rely on it." She snipes, grabbing her rifle. 

His eyes skim over it and he catches a glimpse of writing - names. His heart sinks as he catches a glimpse of "Mount Weather" and "Lexa" but he swallows it down. Cocking a shell into place with a pop she stands.

As she grabs her things and prepares he finally sees it... her. _Wanheda._ The name she'd been given after Mount Weather. It wasn't a name that ever fit her in his eyes. He saw the girl that didn't _want_ to pull the lever. He saw the girl that said ' _together_ '. He saw the girl that left because she couldn't look them in the eyes. He certainly never saw her as the ruthless, murdering, _Commander of Death_ she'd been painted into. 

Yet, rifle at the ready, unbridled rage contorting her face, he sees _Wanheda._ Still despite the name, despite the connotation, despite the rage, she's definitely no commander. She's human. She's a mother. The last one, such a foreign title. _His_ mother placed burdens on him and here Clarke is, a mother, bearing everyone else's. 

"Here I thought I was the heart." He jests despite the worry creeping into his tone. "I've never known you to walk into something without a plan."

"Where'd you get the idea I didn't have a plan?" She smirks but it doesn't break the fire in her eyes. He chuckles.

"Well?" He waits and she continues packing her bag. Distracted, she glances up after a moment confused. "What's the plan?" He checks the magazine on his pistol before sliding it back into place with a click.

Her mouth opens and then closes before she shakes her head.

"Bell. I'm going alone." 

The words hit him in the chest and he crosses his arms tightly. 

"The hell you are." The words turn into a near shout and then drift to a whisper. "I'm not leaving you again."

"I knew you wouldn't like it. You have to trust me, Bellamy." She sighs and her shoulders stiffen. "I have to get her back."

"Clarke what are you _talking_ about? What are you about to do?" He whispers harshly.

Throwing the last gun in her bag she zips it up and slings it over her shoulder. Walking out of the mouth of the cave he rests his hand on her shoulder to stop her. She pauses and looks to the floor.

"I'm trading myself over." 

" _Clarke."_ He practically hisses and she holds up her hand.

"Madi will be safe, I'll promise more information and I'll stall until Raven irons out the firewall." She puts her hand on his chest and releases a heavy, tearful, breath. "She's my daughter Bellamy."

His gaze falters and he nods.

"Fine. But I'm waking the rest of them up and we're going to back you up." She opens her mouth to protest but he interrupts. "If they try and take you hostage and don't honor the trade-" He doesn't need to finish and she reluctantly nods. 

He walks past her and into the cave to wake the rest of them. Quietly he goes over the plan and Clarke lingers at the mouth of the cave, tapping her foot. Monty's disappointment is evident when his eyes meet hers from his spot on the floor. His eyes are slackened and his mouth is pursed in such a _Monty_ way, she almost feels wrong before she remembers her daughter's distraught cries from the other side of the walkie-talkie. 

"I have to go." She whispers when Harper walks over with unease.

Harper nods with a quiet, ' _We'll be right behind you',_ that bolsters her determination. She doesn't have to do this alone, not anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... very possibly new chapter tomorrow. I have everything plotted and my brain is just streaming it out. Is this unhealthy? Eh I don't really care. Time to keep writing more I guess lol.


	4. Take Me Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke makes a trade with Diyoza.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm averaging like 4,000 words a day... I think I need to stop. Will I? Nah. By the way this chapter's a little heavier on themes.

**Clarke and Co**

The cold brush of ferns leaves dew on their ankles as they pause just beyond the village walls. There's a medley of worry, determination, and fear across their faces. Echo at Bellamy's side remains stiff and on edge; she reminds him of a wildcat stalking prey as she crouches at the ready. His eyes can't help but drift to Clarke ahead of them, meager meters from the front gate readying herself. Minutes ago she buried the cache of weapons between the lake and the village, a quick grab if they need to run and prepare themselves. Now she's armed with nothing but her hands and her love, she braces herself as if for battle. Well, it is, he supposes. Clarke is pleading and fighting for her daughter's life.

Echo's hand rests on his shoulder, snapping him out of his haze. 

"She's going to be alright Bellamy." She whispers and she lets her hand fall down into his.

He nods and squeezes reassuringly. The double meaning bleeds into the words and guilt starts to eat at his heart. Distracting him quickly, Clarke turns and her eyes burn into him. Her eyes dart amongst them and she nods.

"Tonight you can come and tell them the deal. Don't come for me before that." Her voice is rigid, sure. Her eyes lock with Bellamy's and her voice cracks. " _Please-_ keep her safe." 

Bellamy nods and pulls the rifle up to his shoulder, fighting the urge in his heart to tell to stop, to tell her not to do this. He knows too well that she can't. That's what family does, that's what _mothers_ do. So instead of protesting he lets out a breath of trust and swallows his remarks.

"Of course. We've got your back." He snaps. She lets her eyes drift to the dirt beneath her feet as she digs her toe in.

"No matter what happens to me, don't shoot unless they try and take both of us. Okay?" Her voice shakes. They nod.

"We'll make sure she's safe Clarke." Harper's voice is soft and her eyes reflect the moonlight. Clarke looks up with an appreciative smile before standing.

"I'll see you later then." The smile comes out harsh and forced, a brave face, before she whispers, " _Thank you."_

Turning towards the makeshift entrance of the village she once called her home, she squares her shoulders and lets her boots dig into the ground heavily. Bellamy from behind notes, this is _Wanheda._ The channeling of strength and confidence with intent to strike fear. Weaponless Clarke still wants to let herself be known as a threat. 

The guards rile up and shout as bullets cock into place. Calmly, Clarke lifts her hands above her shoulders loosely. The quiver in her voice is absent as she yells over the scrambling criminals.

"Bring me Diyoza." She shouts. "I have an offer for her." 

The air solidifies over the camp as the Eligius crew quiet down. A tall woman with thin lips and rock hard eyes paces towards the gate with a rifle pointed at the ground. She furrows her brow and cocks her head to the side curiously. 

"You called?" She raises a brow and nods to a guard nearby as he lowers his weapon.

"The girl you're keeping prisoner in exchange for me." Clarke chops and tilts her chin up. Diyoza's eyes narrow.

"What's she to you?" Clarke nearly hesitates before clamping her jaw around the words.

"She's my daughter."

Something in Diyoza's eyes falters. Her unshakeable, cocky, confidence fades into a dull frown. Her closed fist raises and the ragtag group lowers their guns with a confused grumble.

"What's stopping me from just taking you too?" She snips but the threat hollows. Clarke swallows and lets her face remain unchanged.

"My friends in the woods with guns trained on you." Diyoza lets a respectful smirk crack across her lips as she raises her eyebrows.

"You'll cooperate?" Clarke nods swiftly and Diyoza's eyes trail behind her. There's a sadness she swallows and Diyoza nods in return.

"Wait here. I'll get her for you." 

Clarke steadies herself, digging her heels into the clay as she scans the sneering criminals eyeing her. Making a rough count she swallows and taps her foot, once for each. 

Diyoza turns slowly to the church, making sure none of her men get any ideas as she glares at them. A few steps from Clarke, a shriek breaks the quiet. Clarke would know that voice anywhere. Her cold eyes shoot frantically to Diyoza who meets them with a frown. She raises the Walkie-Talkie to her lips and picks up the pace as she breaks to a speedwalk.

"McCreary- hold. We-" Halting in her tracks, her voice crackles back at her from behind.

Snapping her head back over her shoulder McCreary smirks, arms crosses against his chest with sickening satisfaction. Her gaze hardens as a sneer bites her lips. 

"The _HELL_ did you do McCreary?" Rushing to the church doors with vigor Diyoza snipes.

Clarke's heart flutters in her chest as she fights the instinct in her bones to run inside after her daughter. McCreary stares her down with a flat expression that leaves her shivering. She waits and absorbs the awkward conflict before her, trying to swallow the tears that threaten to shake her confidence.

* * *

**Madi**

_I'm done with her._

Confusion burrows through her heart, pulling and stretching the muscle until she tastes bile on her tongue. The question of the others in the woods falls into the background as his heavy footsteps fall ahead. The door swings open and shut and he fades out of the picture. Alone in the church, she tries hopelessly to pretend it's just her, just her alone in the village like before. The chains around her wrists and the burning in her leg tear the facade away swiftly. 

It's not long before the door swings open again and she purses her eyes shut. _Just let me pretend. Please just let me pretend._ The footfalls are light as she waits for a shock, a voice, something; It's just silence. Cracking her eyes open she waits for the 'gotcha' or the scoff, but there isn't one. A man with rich caramel skin, soft eyes, and patchy stubble holds a large flask out to her.

She flinches back and closes her eyes, waiting for the sizzle of alcohol or the shock, but it doesn't come. Opening her eyes his face softens and he purses his lips.

"I'm sorry about McCreary." His voice rumbles but not in the low angry way that McCreary's does; there's a certain gentleness to it that soothes her. 

He holds the flask just before her lips patiently. When the smell of alcohol doesn't strike her, she slowly leans forward into it, and clear crisp water coats her throat. 

" _thank you_." She rasps gratefully and he smiles sadly glancing at the door.

"I've got to go." He mutters standing. "I'm really sorry... I-" He winces at the door. "I'm sorry about them." 

She coughs and winces, furrowing her brow. "Who are-"

"Shaw... I'm... Shaw." He stammers and puts his hand on the door. "I'll do what I can for you." 

Door slamming shut behind him, Shaw exits, and just like that her paralyzing fear dissipates in the wake of confusion. Catching her breath her eyes skim the church and she lets herself breathe. Feebly she tries to calm down, to let the taut muscles in her neck relax, to let the tightness in her chest loosen. 

The door creaks again a few minutes later and this time her eyes open. It's not Shaw, she recognizes and her heart pounds against her ribcage like it's trying to escape. The scruffy man with a black jacket breaks into a wide toothy grin. Practically rushing forward he grabs onto the chain from where it is nailed into the wood. Yanking her up with a cry, her eyes go wide. The chain rests just beneath his chin and her legs hang loosely beneath her. He grumbles at her and crumples the collar of her jacket in his meaty palm to yank her the rest of the way upward.

She lets a heavy breath out of her mouth only to be followed with an instant regret as he pushes his face against hers, lips crashing messy and animalistic. Reeling her head back with a choke and a cry he suddenly drops her to the floor with a crash and a wail. 

"What's the matter girlie?" He snarks and she heaves, turning onto her side with a cough. 

She shouts as he grabs ahold of her ankle, pulling and stretching the torn flesh apart. He carelessly yanks it, pulling her down underneath him with a wide, gapped smile. His knees dig into her thighs and she feels them bruising as he pushes them apart, pressing against the stab wound. His hands press onto the sides of her stomach and forcefully move upward.

The dread and anxiety in her heart multiplies as the need to scream, vomit, or cry, boil over. Her whole body shakes and trembles as his fingers press and bruise her flesh purple. The final cords holding the pain and fear down snap and she can't fight it anymore.

She shrieks.

* * *

**Diyoza**

The vile cry rings loud and through the whole village. _Fuck._ She thinks. _Probably through the whole damned valley._

Regret pools in her stomach and subconsciously her hand lingers on the side of her rounding belly. She hates hormones, they make you foolish and careless. One look at McCreary and she knows damn well she shouldn't have handed the girl over. She should've bitten down the instinct not to, done what needed to be done, and moved on. McCreary's inhumane demeanor isn't suitable for children, even in times of uncertainty. One look at the determined mother at the gates and she knows damn well there's going to be hell to pay for whatever unforgivable act he did to that little girl. 

Pushing the church doors wide open she curses at the scene. Michael Bourne, kidnapping resulting in murder, she grumbles and steps forward into the wider chamber.

Bourne has one hand around the girl's throat, one on her hip, and his knees digging into her thighs. There's a pool of inky black on the floor and the girl- _Madi_ she corrects- is covered in sweat, tears, and blood. Stepping forward she grabs Bourne by the scruff of his shirt and throws him to the side with a huff.

"The fuck's the matter with you?" She shouts and she waits expectantly as Bourne stammers.

"McCreary said-"

"I don't give a flying fuck what McCreary said. I give the orders around here Bourne." She yells and her hand lingers on her pistol. He remains frozen on the floor and she tilts her head towards the door. "In other words- get the hell out of here before I shoot you." 

Madi remains frozen on the floor as he darts out the door in a huff. Her eyes shoot up to Diyoza fearfully but the woman holds up her hands in calm surrender before she pops the chain up from the floor. Madi's head tilts to the side as she undoes the cuffs, which leave red welts and purple bruises. 

"Your mom's here." She quips simply and Madi's eyes widen.

Diyoza reaches her hand out to the collar but Madi pulls back instinctively. A frown tugs at her lips and guilt eats at her heart. 

"I'm sorry kid. You're getting out of here." Diyoza waits and Madi stays frozen in place. " _They're_ not gonna hurt you anymore." 

Diyoza regrets it the second it's out of her mouth. _She_ hurt Madi. _She_ sicked the maniacal criminal on her. Her gaze shoots downward regretfully and she patiently leaves her hand out.

Madi leans forward slowly for the woman to unclip the collar and Diyoza curses the maternal sorrow and protectiveness she has over the damned girl. Diyoza tries to stomach it.

"Sorry about all that. McCreary's a raging garbage fire." She stiffens and stands up gesturing for Madi to follow.

The girl, covered in her own inky black blood remains.

"Don't you want to leave kid?" She questions and Madi nods softly biting back tears.

"I- I can't- I-" She looks down at her legs, the fabric ripped away and mixed with blood. 

Diyoza tries to fight the wince that makes it to her face but can't. Taking the jacket from around her waist, she wraps it around Madi's, covering the worst of the uppermost injuries before holding out her arm. 

"I gotcha kid." She mutters before helping her up. Madi nearly crumples to the pain halfway up but Diyoza supports the weight of her left side as she leads her to the courtyard. 

* * *

**Clarke**

The doors swing back open and Clarke's stomach plummets. Eyes welling up with tears she fights back a cry. The facade is gone, Wanheda is gone, as Diyoza supports her crumpled and bloodied daughter's weight. Madi's eyes linger at her feet even as they get closer.

 _"Madi?"_ She chokes and the worry creases her brow. 

Her daughter's eyes lift slowly and the childlike wonder and innocence are broken behind them. The shards seem to splinter out in passive tears that stream down her face unflinchingly.

" _Mom?"_ The words crack in her throat and Clarke can feel herself crack under the weight of them. 

She runs halfway to meet them, taking Madi up in her arms. Diyoza steps back apologetically. The girl's weight falls onto Clarke's shoulder as she buries her face in her neck. Clarke wraps her arms tightly around Madi with wide eyes. Their relationship has been undeniable for a long time now, but this is the first time Madi has called her mom. It wasn't something she expected the girl to ever call her, but to the hear the word so desperate and distraught from her mouth sends concern burning through her.

"Oh my god, _Madi_ -" She practically cries and Madi lets out a sob into her skin.

" _Beja hon daun ai hou." Please take me home_ , she shakes in her arms, and Clarke wavers. 

Her eyes move back to Diyoza who lingers with an air of caution, nearing on softness. She quickly avoids the mother's gaze and glances harshly at McCreary. Clarke pulls back with a warm concern glowing in her eyes. She supports Madi and presses her hand to the side of her cheek gently, black blood staining her thumb. 

"You're safe now. You're safe now _ai strik natblida." my little nightblood._ Clarke lets her thumb caress the girl's temple. "You're going home."

Madi's eyes widen with a heavy sense of dread.

"What about you?" She chokes out and Clarke purses her lips into a straight line. "What did you do?" 

"I'm keeping you safe." The whisper forces it's way out. "You'll see me soon." 

" _What_? Nonono _beja nomon beja-" please mother please,_ she puts her hand over Clarke's with a plead. "I can't walk- I can't- I- please wait- no." 

Clarke's chest hollows at the words and she can't find the strength in her for anger. With the whimpering girl in her arms she can't find any other emotions in her but love and worry. The rage will settle in soon enough she's sure, it always boils over eventually, even if it's been pushed down temporarily. 

"Bellamy and the rest will take care of you." Clarke tries to keep her voice steady but falters. Madi's eyes widen and her mouth opens confusedly. "They came back, Madi. They're here."

Madi shakes her head slowly.

"What about you? _Nomon beja..."_ She begs and Clarke blinks away the tears. 

"I made a deal with them that I'll go instead and tell them what they want to know." Madi's eyes shoot open and she violently shakes her head. "You'll see me soon, they're working something out okay?" She caresses her cheek soothingly but the girl is distraught. 

"Please don't- it's bad, please no, don't..." She stammers and Clarke presses a kiss against her forehead.

"I love you so much. I'll see you soon. I promise." Clarke's eyes water and the girl leans all of her weight into her, begging for her to stay.

" _Please- I need you. Please-_ " 

Tears spill over and she holds Madi tightly as she quakes. Turning her head to the brush she forces the words past her lips, everything telling her to stay.

" _Bellamy-"_ She chokes and he's already standing up, exiting the brush and trudging forward with a rock in his heart. He stands at her side and she can see the pain lingering in his eyes at the scene. "She- can't walk."

He nods in recognition and Madi clutches on tighter begging, _no no no please,_ as Clarke slowly lets her go to Bellamy. She sweeps a single strand of hair behind her ear and whispers in her ear softly.

" _Ai hod yu in ai strik natblida._ " _I love you my little nightblood._

Bellamy sweeps the girl up in his arms with a cry of pain and protest escaping her lips. Bellamy steps back and his eyes lock with hers.

"I'll keep her safe. I promise." He assures and she nods softly. Madi cries and buries her face in his chest.

He turns into the woods and gets a good distance away before glancing back over his shoulder. Clarke's eyes have filled with a cold ice and rigidity and she lets herself be led further into the camp by Diyoza. 

As the dust begins to settle and the criminals disperse, McCreary smirks, nodding swiftly to four of his people and flicking his eyes towards the forest. As Colonel Diyoza leads Clarke to the church and out of sight, they quietly slip out the gates into the dense woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even if this HURTS I hope you're enjoying it! And.... what do you want to bet there will be another chapter tomorrow? (Jesus someone please stop me)


	5. Do Better Today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy finds himself overprotective over Madi and Madi struggles to settle down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I just started rewatching the whole damned show and I'm losing my marbles dudes.

**Bellamy and Co**

Cradling Madi’s head tightly against his chest, his heart swells to the point of bursting. With long, braided, black hair draped loosely over her face, he can almost see young Octavia, clutched to him like a lifeline. Her soft cries dampen his grey, threadbare ark t-shirt, and desperately, he wants to pull her closer and protect her from the outside world. 

Echo’s eyes drift softly down to Madi in a rare blip of empathy, before she turns her head away. White-knuckling the sword at her waist, she lingers behind, facing towards the village. 

Slowly the cries cease as Madi's hand clutches at the fabric of his shirt. Glancing down and gently pushing the hair out of her face, her eyes flutter closed.

Reaching the cave, Emori rushes ahead to sweep the vines out of the way. Bellamy carries her in, placing her gently down on the furs. She’s small in his hands and as fragile as glass. Her breaths are labored and heavy, but slower in sleep. With the sleeping child in front of him, he can almost push his worries of Clarke into the background. This _is_ how he protects Clarke. Even if it’s at a distance. 

He seats himself a few feet away with his back pressed against the wall. Fiddling with the _World’s Best Dad_ mug mindlessly, his nerves are shot. His eyes remain focused on the entrance with his gun: the safety off. 

Emori finds herself settled beside Echo, who stares at the injured child with wonder. Hands clasped tightly together in her lap and shoulders squared, Emori nudges the uptight girl.

“What’s on your mind Azgeda?” She quips in a flat attempt to lighten the mood. Echo stiffens further and she turns her head from the tattooed girl.

“Hey. You can talk to me. You know that right?” Emori lets the lighthearted jest fade to a sincere frown. 

Echo chews at the inside of her cheek and turns her head to Emori with spy-like secrecy. She nods towards Bellamy, who is caressing the _World’s Best Dad_ mug and watching over Madi protectively.

“He loves her.” She says simply. Her gaze is far away but the words cut short, falling somewhere after acknowledgment but before acceptance.

Emori’s face softens and she nods knowingly as Echo watches Bellamy. 

“He’s in love with her. I knew that.” She shakes her head and tenses her jaw. “And now… look at him.” 

Bellamy watches over the sleeping girl with a gentle fondness and wonder, yet his iron determination leaves him rigid. The striking resemblance between the two would leave anyone questioning their relation, and that’s disregarding his fatherly vigilance over her. 

“ _Yeah_.” Emori sighs and places her hand on Echo’s shoulder. “I'm just glad Clarke's alive.”

Echo’s nod is almost invisible as she stands and walks over to Bellamy's side. She sits closer to the entrance of the cave, Emori notes curiously - further from Madi.

Bellamy lifts his head as she sits beside him, a mournful frown plastered on his face. His hands are clammy and he wipes the sweat off on his pants before his gaze unconsciously drifts over to Madi. 

"Are you okay?" Her voice is steady and he fleetingly meets her eye.

"No." He whispers harshly under his breath as it breaks.

He rests his head in his palms, leaving clean streaks in the sweat and grime as he sighs. She averts her gaze in discomfort. She had seen Bellamy grieve for years over Clarke, sobbing in the shower and crying every time someone said her name, and now she watches as new grief takes root in him; she watches as he mourns, all of the life he missed with Clarke, and now, with Madi.

"I won't stop you." She releases the breath she's been holding and shakes her head. His head tilts up at her confusedly as she meets his eye.

"What are you talking about?" His forehead creases.

The weight starts to slip from her shoulders as she accepts it. Her heart had been broken, reshaped, and given new purpose on the ring. Six years had brought her healing; she had a purpose, love, and a family now; it wasn't until she saw Bellamy's heartbreak at seeing Clarke and Madi that she recognized that he hadn't gotten that. Bellamy's grief didn't heal, it was a broken bone improperly set. The thing with broken bones that don't heal right is that they keep hurting even after you treat them.

"Bellamy..." She whispers. "I love you." Her face remains stoic.

"You've helped me become a better person. You've given me a family." She nods to Harper, Emori, and Monty. "And we always will be family."

Bellamy looks up at her somberly.

"But you don't love me the way you love her."

" _Echo_..." His voice is low.

"Don't- it's okay, Bellamy." She whispers. "I love you, and I want you to be happy." Her voice softens.

"I've spent a long time pretending to be someone I'm not Bellamy." A flash of emotion breaks the wall. "You helped me change that - to be who I am."

She places her hand on his chest.

"So, I'm not going to stop you from being who you are." She closes her eyes. "And I don't want you to feel bad about it."

"I _do_ love you Echo." He whispers pleadingly.

"I know you do." She puts her hand on his shoulder and stands. "You just love her differently."

"You said things wouldn't change on the ground... but sometimes change is good Bellamy." She manages a soft smile and walks away quietly, pushing down the longing in her heart. 

Bellamy's mouth opens to call after her but quickly falls shut. Deep in his heart, he knows she's right. A sensation of relief that floods over him, only to be accompanied by a thick wave of guilt. When Clarke was dead he still loved her. He didn't love Echo like that, but part of him was convinced there was no way he could love _anyone_ the way he loved Clarke Griffin. Letting his gaze fall to the floor, he relaxes into the furs and lets his heavy eyelids drift closed.

" _DON'T TOUCH ME!"_ The shout echoes through the cavern, and Bellamy snaps awake.

Madi sits straight up, clutching her side in pain. Harper crouches beside her, knit blanket tightly scrunched up in her hand. Harper pulls back in shock, her eyes softening. Madi breathes in heavy, frantic breaths, wincing in pain.

" _Sorry_." She hisses between her gasps for air.

Madi's eyes brim with tears, and Harper shakes her head, humming soothing melodies and whispering condolences. The blanket falls to the floor, forgotten as Harper hesitates. Her hand moves to touch the girl's shoulder comfortingly but stops just before, pausing at the words. 

Emori stands and slowly walks over to her side. She crouches beside Harper with knowing eyes and touches her hand with a nod.

"It's okay, I've dealt with this before," Emori says to the concerned woman. Harper tilts her head and Emori whispers, " _John_."

Harper nods and takes a step back, Emori taking her place at Madi's side. Madi hyperventilates, breathing fast but never getting in a full breath in, and frantically scratches at her arms. 

"Hey. You're safe Madi. Focus on the fur under your feet." She speaks firmly. "Look up, you're in the cavern. You're on your bed. Look at me." Madi's eyes flightily dart to hers, and Emori nods slowly. "Look at my tattoo. What's my name?" 

" _Emori."_ She wheezes. 

"Yes good." She points to Bellamy. "What's his name?"

" _Bell-Bellamy."_ She chokes, and Emori nods.

"Good. Breathe with me. I'm going to count okay?" Madi's breath whistles through her teeth and she nods slightly. " _One_. In... out. Two..." They carry on like that until Madi's breathing slowly levels out. 

"You are under no pressure, but if you'd like to talk about it, I'm here. Do you want to?" Emori soothes, and Madi looks up with a gentle shake of her head. "Alright alright, that's okay." 

"Do you want me to bandage up your leg?" Her voice is soft and charming. Madi's eyes water and she lets out a hesitant nod. 

Emori pulls the gauze out of her bag slowly, ensuring Madi isn't startled.

"We can stitch it up tomorrow if you'd prefer?" Emori asks, gesturing between the suture kit and the bandages. Madi nods again.

"I'm going to touch your leg. Are you okay with that?" Emori looks up and Madi bites her lip, signaling yes.

Slowly she touches the bloody flesh and Madi winces, briefly jerking away before relaxing into it. Emori wets a cloth with water and slowly moves it over to her calf. Madi's arm shoots out, clutching at her wrist, and Emori freezes, pausing cautiously. 

"Do you not want me to?" She whispers sincerely and Madi's eyes drift to the flask she had dampened the cloth with.

" _What is that?"_ She whispers and Emori softens. 

"Water. I promise." She holds it slowly out to Madi who loosens her grip on the wrist. 

" _Sorry."_ Madi rasps and Emori shakes her head before slowly placing the rag on the gashes.

"Don't apologize Madi, It's not your fault." Emori soothes. Her name rolls off her tongue like cinnamon sugar and butter and Madi relaxes. _I'm okay. I'm okay._

* * *

**_5 Years Earlier: On The Ring_ **

_Tangled up in a swell of blankets, John's legs intertwine with her own. This is as vulnerable as she's ever seen him: snoring into the pillow peacefully in only his grey boxers, and his eyes fluttering in sleep. Her eyes lovingly drift over the scars that paint his skin in hatch-marks and brush strokes: little trail markers marking off checkpoints in his journey. Fingertips reach out unconsciously, grazing the fine line scars on the length of his jaw._

_"Wait!" He shouts. Frantically shooting up in bed, blue eyes wild, his hand covers hers._

_Emori reels back, her eyes flashing in concern. The bedsheets wrap themselves tightly around his legs as he pushes himself off the bed. His hands press against the sides of his neck, feverishly kicking his feet against the tile floor with a plastic squeal._

_"WAIT NO, DON'T DO THIS" He chokes, and his eyes flit about the room._

_Emori pushes off the remnants of the covers and rushes down to his side. His gaze drifts from side to side and his head jerks back and forth._

_"John?" The panic seeps into her voice as she recognizes, he doesn't really see her._

_"Wait." His voice cracks, and he pushes further away, his back hitting the wall with an echoing thud. "No, no, please."_

_Emori instinctively reaches to touch his cheek, only for him to jerk back further._

_"Wait no I can't. Wait." He heaves, and his breath wheezes._

_"John? John, just breathe. JOHN? Are you okay?" She gasps._

_Her hands hover, wanting to touch him, to comfort him, lingering just above his bare skin. His eyes focus over her shoulder, and she snaps her head around. Nothing. Murmuring under his breath she leans towards him._

_"-ntari no..." He chokes and Emori's heartbreaks._

_"John. John, it's me. Look at me." She whispers and tries to meet his eye. "It's Emori. You're safe."_

_His eyes frantically lock with hers, and his breathing starts to slow. Tears streak lines down his face and his gaze focuses on her messily._

_"Emori?" He wheezes, and she nods vigorously at him._

_"Yeah, John, it's me. Breathe In...and... out." She whispers soothingly. Slowly his breaths steady and level out, his eyes remaining red and puffy._ _"What's wrong?" She tries to stay calm but falters. He shakes his head and swallows._

_"I'm sorry... nothing." He chokes and she scoffs with a disbelieving smile._

_"That wasn't NOTHING John." She narrows her eyes. "Please talk to me."_

_He recedes into himself, gulping down his anxieties. His knuckles are pale, clutched around the mess of cream white sheets as he averts his gaze. She leans forward towards him, her hand hovering just beside his cheek, shaking with hesitation. There's a breath of relief as he falls into it, the warmness of her hand pressing against his clammy face._

_"I-I'm sorry." He starts but she interrupts._

_"Don't apologize John." She snaps, but her voice rolls gently. He briefly meets her eye and nods but can't hold her gaze._

_"I... don't know if I should talk about it Emori..."_

_"I'm here. I'm worried about you." He clears his throat awkwardly._

_"I've had a... great... history with things around my throat." He jokes and smiles but she can see the pain bursting at the seams as he feigns a cough to cover up the break in his voice. "Ah... I was hung for a crime I didn't commit... then exiled and tortured for trying to get justice... although in all fairness I was a bit fucked up, and probably deserved it."_

_Emori's face cracks and she nods to him. There's a rigidity behind his fleeting gaze, something she recognizes. It's the same face he wears when fighting for survival, and he wears it now, wrapped in bedsheets on the floor tiles._

_"And..." He hesitates on the words and frantically looks up at her before breaking eye contact again. "With Ontari..."_

_"When she... She put a thick metal collar- around my neck. Attached to a chain she tied- tied to her bedpost." He chokes choppily over the words._

_"John... I didn't know..." Guilt tugs at her heart._

_"Yeah..." He trails off. Emori anxiously waits for him to continue, but he remains deathly silent._

_"What... happened?" She chokes out._

_"I uh... She said she'd kill me if I ever betrayed her..." He goes quiet._

_"I- I'm sorry I should've asked..." Her voice is a harsh whisper._

_"But you didn't Emori." He shakes his head with a painful wheeze. "It doesn't matter anymore."_

_"It obviously does matter John." Thumbing his cheek comfortingly, she closes her eyes._

_He absorbs the silence and lets out a breath, letting go of the sheets to grab her hand._

_"Yeah..."_

_"John... she raped you." She breathes out, releasing the weight on her shoulders. His eyes flare-up._

_"I-No. I... agreed." He looks at the ground._

_"She would have killed you." Emori softens. "That's not consent, John."_

_"Fuck..." He hisses turning his head away from her hand, a tear falling over her fingertips._

_"It's okay- to not be okay." She whispers to him._

_She can't see his face but she sees him tremble. The sob breaks his lips and she recoils for a brief second. The man in front of her is different from the man she knew on the ground. Her hand reaches to his back. His skin a sweaty and he's boiling to the touch. He doesn't pull away. He turns into her arms, wrapping his arms around her and dropping his head into her shoulder with a sob, muttering half apologies under his breath._

_"You don't have to be strong all the time John." She hushes, eyes wide at the usually unfazed brick wall of John Murphy in her arms._

_"My mother put her hands around my throat before she got floated." The words flow out of his mouth like butter, catching her off guard. "Right before she told me I killed my father."_

_"So... things around my throat... never worked well for me. Sorry, I freaked- just scared me I guess." The words gag him and she pulls back holding his face in her hands, the mutated hand unabashedly pressed to his skin._

_"What did I say about apologizing?" She smiles and presses a brief kiss on his lips, before nuzzling her nose against the tender, scarred flesh of his neck. She hears him inhale sharply as her lips graze the nape of his neck, lingering just below his ear. "I love you John Murphy- scars and past and all."_

* * *

**Emori and Co**

Madi drifted back to sleep, her leg bandaged and already soaking through with black blood. Emori's eyes drift over the girl as Harper hums at her side. 

"You said... John..." She whispers to the tattooed girl with a downcast gaze. Emori shakes her head with a sigh.

"I shouldn't have left him. He needed me." The cool cavern air leaves her throat dry and raspy. Harper turns her head up to look Emori in the eye firmly.

"You needed space too, Emori. Don't hate yourself for giving it to yourself." Madi stirs in her sleep with a restless groan. "Just, let's _do better_ with what we have. Take care of each other." 

Harper's eyes drift down. "We all could've done better for John. We could've acknowledged his suffering and helped him more rather than pushing him away." She nods softly to herself before glancing at Emori. "It wasn't all on you to help him."

"Thanks, Harper." She smiles, and leans back onto the furs, closing her eyes and finally resting. 

* * *

Monty lays beside them, face obscured by a thick red knit blanket. Biting his lip he pulls the blanket closer to his chest. How many times did he snap at Murphy, Bellamy even, in space? He'd been so preoccupied in surviving he hadn't seen that once they had time to live, his friends needed real help and support: not just algae and setting straight. 

_Do better._ He mutters and closes his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I spent so long on this chapter (Not really... two days isn't a lot.... Just.... in comparison to my spree I mean...) Trying to make sure I wrote this exactly how I wanted to.


	6. Backwards, Downwards, We're Upside Down Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things move way too slow and way too fast for all of them. It's all backward yet somehow strikingly the same, isn't it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh jeez, not as long as the others sorry! Trying to balance writing this fic with writing my book! Hope you're enjoying it!

Clarke 

Coldness ices over her vision as McCreary flashes a shark-like grin from the other side of the church, his eyes flaring confidently. The room seems to blur around her as she focuses on him. She’s underwater: every sound muddles together until there’s just the scrape of his boot across the wood, the tapping of his fingernails on his gun. 

“Clarke? Clarke.” The snapping fingertips in front of her face bring her back to the surface with a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. 

“Yeah… yeah sorry- after Praimfaya happened it was just Madi and me in this valley.” She coughs and flits her gaze to McCreary as his smile grows.

Diyoza glances over to McCreary with a huff. There’s a crack in her stiffness as she scoffs and waves her hand. Clarke’s eyes narrow as the woman nearly growls at him.

“Get the hell out McCreary.” Her head shakes and there’s a bite in her tone. 

Teeth bared at him, McCreary holds up his hands in mocking defense, making his way to the door with a low chuckle. It swings closed with an echoing shriek. Sighing sympathetically, Diyoza’s hands clasp together in her lap.

“I’m sorry about him.” The compassionate words brew with disgust. “Where were we?”

“Uh… Madi.” Clarke whispers.

Sadness melts the icy rage and her shoulders slump over. Soon. I’ll see you soon. 

  
  


* * *

Raven

  
  


Raven hurriedly types away at the mainframe, lining up protocol after protocol and encrypting the files. Luckily it’s easily accessible to her, unluckily that means it’s easily accessible to them too. 

“Why the hell would you make this crap so damn easy to get into?” She curses, slamming her fist onto the desk.

Murphy from the other side of the room grumbles in frustration, the spoon balanced on his nose falling at the ruckus. Leaning over to pick it up he clicks his tongue.

“Raven you’re a genius. They’re criminals, you give them too much credit.” He deadpans, picking up the spoon and breathing heavily on to it before expertly balancing it on the tip of his nose. 

She swivels the chair to face him, dumbstruck.

“What did you just say?” He looks up and his eyes dart to the side like he’s been caught. 

“Uh- did I say something wrong?” He stammers, mouth wide. Raven lets out a short laugh and shakes her head in disbelief. 

“Did John Murphy just compliment me?” She smiles and John scoffs. 

“Oh, ha-ha.” He shakes his head extra slow, going cross-eyed focusing on the spoon. “Got it John Murphy’s a dick what a shock he’s being nice.” 

John swallows and turns to her. 

“For real though, you are a genius, Raven. I’m sure it’ll be fine. Get some rest.” The spoon slips with a metal ping echoing in the room followed by a curse. “Fuck! Damn you got me, Reyes.” 

Raven swivels back to the screen, typing in another line of code. White letters flood the blue panel and slow to a pause. Her head turns back over her shoulder to the bastard fogging up the spoon again. 

Murphy isn’t the same guy he was on the ground. Self-preservation, his primary motivator, lost its use on the ring, and quickly turned to rage; yet a new softness and, dare she say it, peace reigns over him here. 

She shakes it off, taking the compliment and brushing off the kindness before continuing on with her work. 

* * *

Bellamy

The weight on his chest leaves him suffocating all night. He's decided it's really hard to sleep when you can't breathe. It really is too bad there's nothing he can do about that right now. The stress chokes him, he swears he can almost feel the bruising fingertips of it around his throat, but every time his eyes open there's nothing but the cool dark of the cave. 

Even Madi snores beside him, the hot water of the day finally boiling over and leaving her with the blanket of exhaustion. Of course, she's restless. He watches as her head twitches to the side and a deep ridge forms between her eyebrows. There's a sharp inhale here or there but she's asleep.

Bellamy, however, knows better. Nightmarish deep sleep isn't always better than being awake. On the Ring, he remembers those nights. The nights where he closes the door to the rocket just as she falls into Becca's lab. Where under her helmet the blisters boil up and she screams. Where the black blood splatters on the inside of the glass, and she runs forward but it's too late. Where the rocket rumbles and shoots off into space. Where he wakes up screaming and sobbing, his hands reaching out to the rocket door only to find the cold emptiness of his room on the ring. 

He knows that sometimes those nights are worse than not sleeping. 

So rolling over in bed, he tries not to picture a collar around Clarke's neck. He tries not to picture black blood dripping down her forehead, radiation blisters, or her alone on the surface of the charred planet. So instead he watches Madi. 

He watches the way her eyes move under her eyelids and the way her breaths mix between snores and gasps. She doesn't look peaceful. The way everyone looks at sleeping children is normally described as some bullshit like 'peaceful' or 'innocent' but Bellamy knows better there too. He's not foolish enough to look at her like she's fragile, or innocent, or by god _peaceful_ just because she's a sleeping child. There's pain there, there's fear. He knows that too well.

Madi is Clarke's daughter if that could be any more clear to him. They don't have the same DNA but by god, if they don't have the same hot blood running through their veins. He's seen Clarke like this too, restless sleep from all she's endured. He knows that pain doesn't make her fragile, but strong, and he's sure that the girl before him holds that strength in her heart too. 

He's not foolish enough to think she's fragile, but when did that ever stop him from protecting Clarke or Octavia? They're the two strongest women he knows. Watching over the girl he knows she' strong, but the unshakeable defensiveness over her burns him like wildfire.

Tonight is one of those nights, where he knows restless sleep is worse. Still, it shocks him when he catches the low warmth of morning light begins to pool in the cavern. Time runs by him quickly, only last night had he discovered Clarke was alive and had a daughter, not to mention the absolute mess of things with Eligius. Everything seemed to be moving too fast, yet here he was willing it faster, willing Raven's firewall to drop quicker, willing Clarke to be out sooner. 

Everything with Bellamy Blake is just backward, isn't it? 

Madi's eyes frantically snap open with an inhale beside him. He turns, prepared to mutter soothing words and comforts, only to find her eyes cold and hard. Her breathing steadies almost instantly as she sits up with only a small, hidden wince. He finds himself wanting to hold her, to whisper _i_ _t's okay,_ but he knows it's not, i _t's okay to not be okay Madi,_ but he can't, he can't put that weight back on her shoulders.

"How are you holding up?" He says instead, and it's stupid. He regrets it the second it leaves his mouth because it's stupid to even ask when he already knows the answer. 

"I'm fine." Of course. Of course, she's _fine._ That's always it, isn't it? 

"Sleep in a little longer, no one else is up yet." He whispers to her but that's stupid too. It hits him all too quickly that he doesn't really know _what_ to say. Everything feels wrong.

Her eyes flit to his friends nearly cuddled up against each other and then back to him.

"You're up." He opens his mouth but she's already pushing herself further upright. "I'm awake anyway."

There's a hardness to her voice and he wants to say something, _anything_ else but everything he wants to say dies on his tongue and he swallows back down. So instead he meekly nods and leans on his knees.

 _I get it,_ is wrong because he gets the sleeplessness but he doesn't get all of it and it's wrong to impede.

 _Do you need anything,_ will make her feel helpless or broken or something like that and he doesn't want to hurt her.

 _We'll get her back soon,_ might remind her of all the things she's trying to put in the back of her head.

So he doesn't speak, and he simply watches as she sits up in the morning sunlight, the gold reflecting off small streaks of red in her hair. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah I love soft scenes that just give that tense semblance of a break. Bellamy, Murphy, Madi, and Clarke have to be my favorite characters and we just needed to vibe you know?


	7. Stalling Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things weren't working out well, to begin with. Add McCreary's bloodthirsty men, a suspicious Colonel, and a traumatized child to the mix and you're bound to end up with a mess. It's too bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyy Season 7 ep 1 came out and I loved it!!!! AHHHHH.

Clarke

McCreary is gone. One thing she can be thankful for as the conversation with Diyoza draws to a close. She's omitted some details but the steel-eyed woman doesn't seem to notice, and if she does she seems unbothered. It begins to filter off into still quiet. Clarke isn't sure she believes her for a moment before she slowly nods.

"Thank you for cooperating Clarke. This has been a great help with reacquainting ourselves to this... new earth." She stands. "It really is too bad we can't let you go. You do have a daughter out there after all- and she's hurt. That must be hard for you."

Clarke hesitates, her brow furrowing at the confusing phrases. They make sense individually but she can't quite see what she's trying to get at. Diyoza quickly interrupts her thoughts with a scoff.

"You've given us a good deal of information to protect her." She clicks her tongue, pacing to Clarke with her arms crossed. "But let me ask you, once this is all over, are you really going to just let bygones be bygones _Wanheda_?" 

She hisses out the title that Clarke had unflinchingly given her not too long ago. _The Commander of Death._ An unspoken warning not to cross her or undermine her friends in the woods. Clarke falters at the words, eyes darting away towards the floor as Diyoza continues. 

"My people-" She forces the words out. "-were not very kind to her, as you saw. You certainly haven't let go of McCreary since you got here... not saying I blame you... but you know as well as I do more were... involved."

"Get to the point." Clarke fights the bark in her voice down into a strangled cry. 

" _Wanheda..._ when you leave I have no doubt you'll retaliate. So I can't let that happen." She says. "But the thing is... you seem smart enough to know that already."

"My question is... you haven't tried to work out a deal. No bargaining. Not from you or your friends in the woods. It's been all day..." She crouches beside the chair. "So what are they ' _working out'?"_

For a second it doesn't register what she's talking about as she air quotes the words. Skimming over memories, she hits it and her eyes narrow- lingering in a long quiet. _"You'll see me soon, they're working something out okay?" She caresses her cheek soothingly but the girl is distraught._ Diyoza mimics the words back to her, feigning the same motherly inflection on her face.

"You don't seem to be worried about being here Clarke. Or getting out. So let me ask you again- what are they working out and when is _soon?"_ Diyoza tilts her head to the side as Clarke purses her lips into a thin line. 

Clarke doesn't speak. Diyoza waits, and waits for a response but the shell has hardened around her. She debates just telling her- Raven's firewall might be up already- but Bellamy isn't aware to contact her. They could bypass it if she tells them too soon. Ruin the whole plan in one fell swoop. If they're going to torture her or threaten them with her life she can stall. Stalling for time, they'll probably come within a few hours. Once Madi knows she won't want to wait. Deep seeded in her mind is the shred of doubt they won't. She tries to shrug it off but it burns at her throat. 

"Fine. Don't talk." Diyoza pulls back. "It's too bad... I kinda like the kid..." Clarke's eyes dart up to her. "His name is Bourne." 

Clarke tilts her head, remaining mute. Diyoza chuckles but it doesn't pair with a smile, and it doesn't reach her eyes. She shakes her head.

"Don't play dumb with me Clarke. You saw the look in her eyes."

Clarke swallows. Hard. She tries not to think of the _panic_ and wet fear trailing tears down Madi's cheeks. She tries not to think of the way she limped and crumpled in her arms- the purple and yellow on her wrists and around her neck- the ripped fabric of her pants- the words _I'm done with her._ Bile boils up in her throat and she tries to close her eyes as if that will stop the images Diyoza has placed in her head.

"If you don't tell me what the hell you're plotting- I'll send him after her." Clarke can't seem to catch a breath, lungs empty as she tries to think with her head. A few more hours... stall stall stall. 

"They'll kill him first." She manages.

"Are you willing to bet on that Mama bear?" Diyoza asks but she doesn't need to answer. The answer is no, they both know that. 

Stall stall stall. Clarke winces trying to convince herself if she can just _stall,_ Madi will be okay. Bourne won't get to her, the deal will be settled, the firewalls will be up if she can just wait it out. There's a more primal instinct in her though, one that screams she can't count on that, one that screams she has to protect her daughter. Her mouth falls half-open, unable to grasp the right words.

"Last chance," Diyoza says.

She sits a moment longer, expectantly waiting for something to leave Clarke's mouth. Nothing does. With finality she reaches for the door, a look of something nearly somber in her eyes as her hand runs across the cool brass.

"Wait." Clarke spits out, because really- what else can she say? 

* * *

Bellamy and Co

They've all woken up, the golden light of morning feeling disingenuous with the sorrowful cloud hanging over them. Madi slugs through the woods, limping with the strain on the new and mediocre sutures on her leg, just ahead of Bellamy. Her eyes are blank as if she's still sleeping, unseeing of the rocks she's memorized on this path. The rover is the goal, buried in the brush behind the ridge. Beyond that is nothing- a short checklist of things to do when all there is to do is wait. Clarke and Madi had waited for years for them to come down from the Ring, and now it seemed like all there was was more waiting. This waiting carried more pain though, at least for Madi. 

She stops, leaning her weight on her good leg, just before the bushes. Branches ripped down from trees vaguely camouflage it into the brush, even if the facade fades for anyone who comes close. It's maybe enough for them to skim over it from a hundred feet or so. She doesn't bother to speak, moving to rip the branches away in a silent language.

Bellamy trudges forward to help. A sleepless night hanging over him as he starts around the panels. It's not hard work or long work, but it seems to drag on forever as they silently whittle away at it. The five minutes it takes feels like hours as they simultaneously beg someone to speak and beg for no one to. No one argues when Bellamy jumps in the driver's seat, and no one argues when Madi sits in the passenger seat beside him- her eyes trained out the window at the passing trees. 

"When are we getting Clarke back?" Her voice is raw from the day prior. 

Bellamy tears his eyes away from the path in brief shock, before gazing back at the road. In the back the crammed together Space-Kru share glances.

"Tonight. Soon." He whispers.

"How." He can tell she's fighting back tears by the cracks in her voice. 

"We have the leverage to make a deal with them. We're going to get Clarke out, get our people in the bunker out, and then split the valley." He soothes. "It'll all be okay. She'll be fine." His mouth opens to continue with, _You'll be fine,_ but he stops himself.

"What if she's not? Fine I mean." Madi rasps and he can hear the underlying message. 

"Clarke can get through anything. She'll be okay." 

She sits silently for minutes, tears silently dripping down her cheeks and reflecting on the window like raindrops. The whole of her body aches in one way or another, the physical pain sinking deeper than the skin. Bruises spread into her chest, pressing against her heart that weakly beats back against it. Her lungs have shrunk against it and she wants to scream. She's waited so long for the story-book characters Clarke told her about to come down, yet she wants anyone else besides her in the driver's seat right now. Well, she wants Clarke. The sound of laughter and the hum of her voice telling bedtime stories is all she wants, but it suddenly feels so far away. She presses her forehead against the glass, the cold of it icing over her thoughts as she tries to rest.

_POP - BANG_

Interrupts her dazed thoughts and the rover rocks to the side. They all sit up straight as the rover reels towards the treeline. Bellamy lets out a slurry of random words as he tries to regain control, the word _tire_ making it out as a clear shout. Even with the wheel cranked in the opposite direction, the wobbling popped tire holds its ground. It's too little too late as the tree comes into more detail, the lines of the bark becoming clearer as they throttle closer and closer. His eyes wince shut, but as if on instinct, he throws his arm in front of Madi before the impact throws them into darkness. 

* * *

_"Ay boss. Think they're waking up."_ A low voice rumbles through her blurry eyes. 

No longer in the confines of the rover, Madi frantically looks around. Bellamy stirs to her left and she hears the groan of Echo from behind her. Her hand moves to reach for him but is held in place by thick rope. 

"Hey. Don't panic kiddo." The man grins. "Everything's going to be _alright_." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Youchie this hurt. That's the point though I guess lmao. Hope you're enjoying it!


End file.
